We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
