You're my little dorito
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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