did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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