ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize