so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
