nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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