you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize