ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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