Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
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Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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