Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
