I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He passed out mid-signature
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
