Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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