I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Randomize
