why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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