Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize