i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
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we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
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I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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