Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
The cops high fived after they tackled you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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