It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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