i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
