If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
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She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Who died my cat blue again?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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