I am in a vortex of obligation.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
