HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
