ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
