seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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