I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
