How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
