I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
