Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
