i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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