do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.