Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear