Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
