That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
seriously i just wanna be friends
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility