yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
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There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...