I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
