I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize