So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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