This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
