it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Dicks are not precious.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
