i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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