Little spoons don't ask big questions
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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