but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Who died my cat blue again?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
