the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
