I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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