The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
