Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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