complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize