I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
