I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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