i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
