Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The beer is more important than you right now.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
