Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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