Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
