So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
