I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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