i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
