how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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