It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
