neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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