I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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