I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
