she woke up with a sticky ear
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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