You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
