I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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